He is building a palace
"Imagine yourself as a living house, God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on: You knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently, He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of - - throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace.”
This excerpt from CS Lewis’s “Mere Christianity” seems to hit the spot for my present day life (at least I hope so). I think of the years I’ve spent praying for God to heal me- my house. My broken soul full of anxiety, fear, and significant pain. If only God would take “this” away, or fix “that” then I wouldn’t be so crippled. I would continue to say the words “Jesus, I trust in You” as tears poured and running thoughts spun in my head full of fears and lies.
I just kept waiting upon the Lord as I coped the best I could and sought out help when needed. But in reality, I wasn’t even sure if the Spirit of the Living God was capable of moving in my life anymore. I knew the “drains” and “roof” needed a healer, but I had no idea what else He intended to not only fix but make into a palace.
All of a sudden my body, soul, and spirit were in significant pain, greater pain than before. Pain I could no longer put a smile on to cover up or sweep it under a rug (as long as it was out of sight it was out of mind, right?).
He broke me open hard and raw.
Like a contractor coming in doing demolition work, on areas I never approved of, He came in.
And as terrifying as it seemed, he stirred a great awakening in my soul that propelled me forward. I knew things had to change as horrifying as it all was for me.
I’m beginning to see the glimmers of not the lovely cottage I would have been more than happy with, but of a grand palace - a palace I never thought I could ever deserve.
Healing of body, soul, and spirit
I’m seeing how one part of us isn’t enough for Him to heal, he wants to heal us totally - body, soul, spirit. In His eyes, we don’t have separate parts, so when we ask for healing, when we are ready, and it is time, He is going to make sure we not only get fixed, but get an entire renovation.
I see this newfound growth in me as I work hard in relationship with Christ. It’s a work we are doing together. The more I let go, the more I learn how to heal in areas I didn’t realize were affecting my body and spirit. I’m still in quite the midst of learning this new path, but the beauty I’ve seen in it already has me praising His name with awe and vibrancy.
With each death, there is a new birth waiting for us.
With each dream of a simple cottage to live in, He sets out to make us a palace.
And in return, I begin realizing, how could I have ever settled for a simple cottage?
He is showing me, I was always intended to be a palace.
We shouldn’t settle for less in our life...
He certainly doesn’t.
Do I trust God to come in my life with his plans to make a palace out of me? What parts do i know need fixing? What wounds are blocking God’s entry into my life, the parts I don’t want to look at? Do I put emphasis on one part (body, soul, or spirit) of me more than the others? Why? Do I need to work on accepting myself as a whole being and not separating myself into different parts? Imagine yourself as a palace God is working on. What does it look like - think big? Now hand it all over to the Creator.
God, please continue to knock this house down. I trust in your Divine Plan for me as messy as any demolition gets. Leave nothing undone, for I am ready for all of me to be in harmony with all of You.